what I wouldn't give for a rainy day {a poem}

I should have rehung the curtains last week
the sunlight makes it impossible to sleep
impossible to shut out the world and forget
I don’t need the rest – I slept all night –
I need the escape

what I wouldn’t give for a rainy day
why can’t the sky reflect the gloominess inside?

the light streams through broken blinds
piercing the darkness in my soul
and making me bleed tears

I bury myself in blankets
but that only lasts a few minutes
the sun is not only light, it is also warmth

what I wouldn’t give for a winter storm
why can’t the weather abet the chill of my icy heart?

I need to get out
I wish it were possible to vacate my head
impossible – so I vacate my bed instead
sullenly, I retrieve and hang the curtains
then, not so sullenly, I wander outside